I’m fucked up I think, because I don’t trust my family anymore, when they are mad at me and they try to make me talk, try to understand why the hell I did that, I don’t answer them…I don’t do a thing, I just look at them with a blank stare or crying (I tend to do that a lot since I was child) and what they do after that: they give the look meaning “You’re so fucked up in the head” or something like that.

I guess my dad was right…I’m not the same little girl who loved to talk and play with everyone….I guess I’m more introvert now, don’t want to speak with people unless they are talking to me, I don’t even trust my own blood.

But hell I guess they deserved it…I think, first of all my mom, she acted like any mom, but sometimes she was meaner, made me feel like a worthless piece of shit and I couldn’t say a thing to defend myself, because she was my mom and when I did it (one time)…it didn’t had a happy ending and there I was a little brat begging for forgiveness…oh yeah she did magic with me…almost changed me to something she wanted (didn’t talk a lot)…but the key word in here is almost.
But I guess that’s the funny thing with my mom, she can get mad in no time and the next second she’s all sweets…ah the irony.
But great job anyways mom…and remember when you asked why the hell I was all “sorry, sorry” that time? I guess this can answer it for you…or not, because I don’t think you´ll see this.

Then my dad, well he’s the one I could say I get along better of them, sometimes I can, sometimes I cant…also another ironic moment, because well he and mom made a great team in making a kid cry when they fought (well, I was a little girl and a crybaby, what can you expect?)
Also dad had his way of making me cry…he didn’t had too much patience with me when he was teaching me stuff from school, I guess I had part of the guilt on that, but I tried to understand it…but the man didn’t gave me to much credit for it.
Also how can I forget when he made me cry like a baby (in front of the family) when I told him I wanted to study art….my moral went down, all the tragedies of the world united in one single moment.
Oh yeah, a lovely moment with daddy dearest….fucker.
But well, he had lots of good things…..nah why I’m even trying? I just gonna leave it in that way.

At least but not last, my brother Edú: what can I say about this jackass, when we we’re young, when mom and dad we’re fighting he was good enough to stop me from crying, made me feel better about it (and don’t forget the fact that them always bought us stuff to regain our love…weird)
But we also acted like any brother and sister: like dogs and cats…and well things changed when the whole family moved to a new house, things changed….we used to talk about anything…and now we talk once on a while.
Also he scares me, a lot, I don’t see him as a brother anymore, I see him like a boss, I see my own brother like a friggin stranger, I tried sometimes to talk more to him but nothing, and well he talks more with our cousin about well guy stuff, but not even a single moment my brother wants to talk with me

.
And people ask why we have such a weird relationship…because of him, that’s all, I tried to improve, but it wasn’t enough…and I’m done with him.


Well I guess that’s it, the real reason why I want to get my own life…because I can’t stand my family

Good way to feel better I think...put the blame on your family.